The Agent Quest Part 1: Great atmosphere and depth, but lacks cohesion

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Having finished the manuscript for No Tears for Old Scratch, I’ve been hard at work trying to find an agent to represent the novel to publishers. I have already self-published my work, including one collection of short stories and several e-books, with a great distribution network for an independent author, but for this novel, I wanted to take it to a larger audience. I feel it’s a bigger book (and a nice step up for me as a writer). Thanks to a little hard work on a well-crafted query letter and working some connections with publishing industry friends, I’ve actually been getting very good responses from agents. As anyone who has gone through this process knows, the usual response to a query is:

“This is not for me – but thanks for the opportunity!”

I always like when an agent responds with enthusiasm (!) when rejecting a query. Or there is the British version:

“Thank you for your submission, which we have read with interest. Unfortunately we did not feel enthusiastic enough about it to take this further. We are sorry to give you a disappointing response but thank you for thinking of us in connection with your work.”

Or the even shorter:

“Not for me, but thanks.”
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The Kiss of Death..

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There is no greater kick in the nuts than hearing the following from a lit agent or publisher:

“It’s great, it’s funny, it’s unique. But we don’t think it will sell…”

The coup de grace for all of this was a rejection from one lit agent who said:

“Many thanks for sending us your material, which I read with interest. Unfortunately, I do not believe that our agency could successfully represent this work. Though at times quite funny, it was at other times too off-color for others in the agency.”

Now how could I leave it at that? I’m a curious guy and I have no objections to someone not liking my writing, but at least give me a good reason for hating my stuff (beyond the usual “you’re a fucking asshhole” or “perhaps you should seek out treatment”). So I e-mailed them back stating that, “Obviously one has to tread that delicate balance to stay true to their vision but also produce a sellable book.” I then asked what were some of the parts that the agents found too off-color? Were there specific chapters they resented or just the overall feel? Her reply was: Continue reading