There is no greater kick in the nuts than hearing the following from a lit agent or publisher:

“It’s great, it’s funny, it’s unique. But we don’t think it will sell…”

The coup de grace for all of this was a rejection from one lit agent who said:

“Many thanks for sending us your material, which I read with interest. Unfortunately, I do not believe that our agency could successfully represent this work. Though at times quite funny, it was at other times too off-color for others in the agency.”

Now how could I leave it at that? I’m a curious guy and I have no objections to someone not liking my writing, but at least give me a good reason for hating my stuff (beyond the usual “you’re a fucking asshhole” or “perhaps you should seek out treatment”). So I e-mailed them back stating that, “Obviously one has to tread that delicate balance to stay true to their vision but also produce a sellable book.” I then asked what were some of the parts that the agents found too off-color? Were there specific chapters they resented or just the overall feel? Her reply was:

“In general, the negative response to your manuscript originated simply from its overall feel of going ‘just a bit too far.’ Perhaps your third chapter is a good example of this. “

Well, I had to laugh. Mostly because I still couldn’t figure out what in chapter 3 — a parody of the current state of publishing in the form of a fake book catalog with entries — had specifically pushed their buttons. It could have been any of the following fake books I used in the piece: